Ok, it's happened....

[AllenOK]

Three weeks ago my coworkers informed me that my spouse was cheating on me.  They had found some pictures of her and another guy on FB.  My kids all knew about it, and she had told the kids not to tell me. We did a little digging and realized she's been cheating on me for over a year.

Monday I confronted her about it, and told her I wanted out.  Immediately, and without remorse, she asked me what I was going to take.  I told her what I wanted, and she agreed.

This evening, I got the last of my stuff out of that house.  I am staying in a friend's basement to get back on my feet.

She ran my finances so far into the red that I need to file bankruptcy.

I was able to leave with most of the fishing gear.  I left some stuff for our kids.  "Someone" started kicking my rods around.  She says it was one of my boys, he says it was her.  I don't know which one to believe.  I haven't had a chance to inspect every rod, but I don't think any are damaged.  I did get all my tying gear, except my desk.  I don't really have space to store, and they have a use for it.  I got it at a thrift shop for $20, so no big loss.

I got a new phone a few days ago.  This is the first chance I've to get on the site.

I do not know how things are going to be.  I don't know if I'll be able to fish as much as I used to.  Probably won't be tying flies or jigs much, of at all, for awhile.  I want to stay a part of my kids' lives.

 

[AtticaFish]

Sorry to hear all that has been going on. Hopefully you can work out a good arrangement for the kids.

When i go through rough times.... i tend to fish more often. Probably not the best solution to problems, but it sure clears my head out.

 

[Hawnjigs]

Altho reading the news lately spousal cheating seems like no big deal, I have never and will never. And I don't think I'm alone having been tempted.

A cheater is dishonest & disrespectful, and separation probably best for an involved couple. That you never suspected bespeaks of your integrity.

My wife & I separated 3 years ago, and I have LOTS more time to fish.

 

[Uncle Grump]

Wow

Talk about a punch in the gut.

Wish you well and a speedy "getting back on your feet".

UG

 

[AllenOK]

AF, I've been a firm believer in fishing therapy for years.  I'm pretty strongly introverted; fishing helps me recharge and clear my head.

I stopped at a local park this evening.  Called my Dad and gave him the rundown.  There's a series of canals there, and I intended on pullingy 4wt out to harras the fish I could see rising.  Finished talking to my Dad, got out, went to grab my fly best, and realized I had taken that into where I'm staying so I could haul more ofy stuff.

Until next time, fish....

 

[AtticaFish]

I really only have 1 good friend i fish with often. Also with my Dad or wife or my son every once in a while too. Even then, that is maybe once out of 10 or 15 trips that i am out solo. I fish a lot at night too and have the entire lake to myself on many evenings. Don't get me wrong, i do enjoy company at times, but i love that quiet time alone in the dark. Freak myself out sometimes imagining shadows and movement at the corner of my eye, crazy sounds and such. That is half the fun. One night i just about pissed myself because a guy decided to go for a LATE NIGHT JOG around the top of the reservoir. I was walking to a new spot and he came running up behind me. Freaked me the hell out!!! He was lucky he did not get Zoro slashed with my fishing rod.

Sitting on top the ice after dark by myself is on another level and have only done that a few times when i felt the ice was beyond same enough. Sitting outside alone in the dark with nothing but the sounds of the wind and the waves (or the ice) is as close to a religious experience i think i can get.

Time is the only healer and fishing makes time zip by faster than anything else.

 

[duffy]

Sorry to hear of your predicament Allen. I know that sort of thing really hurts and especially that the kids knew too. I too usually go off by myself and either fish or shoot the crap out of something just to vent. Were here for ya.

 

[Hawnjigs]

Hmm, most fisher guys bunch up at "hot" spots copying each others tekneek, while I prefer alone quiet time on the water.

Maybe jig crafters tend to lean introvert ?

Dunno about a fishing rod being a "Zoro" weapon, but was just wondering if one in a predators mouth could fend off a charge attack, or be a quicksand escape tool?

I know, my thoughts swing wacky sometimes...

 

[hookup]

That sux Allen

Best advise is get back on the bike & ride ... or, well ... y'know

Good luck

 

[AllenOK]

Thanks gents.  Yes, I tend to go off fishing by myself, peace and quiet so I can recharge away from noisy people.

Like AF, I've done a lot of night fishing, back in OK.  Seen some strange stuff.  Think I see something move, and when I look, there's a baby Possum trying to get into my bait cooler.  Another time it was one of those BIG red and yellow centipedes.

I know it's going to take time.  Yes, I need to get right back on that horse.  I plan to.

I have some things I need to take care in the immediate future.  Tomorrow's a big day.  Gotta go to my *old* bank and get a printout of activity since Feb 1st.  Then tell them I'M m going to be closing the account either this week, or in a couple weeks.  I might have to send a payment down to OK from that account.  I need to go to my *new* bank and tell them to set up a checking account to go with my savings account, new debit card, etc.  Then I need to go down to Friend of the Court and get started on paying child support.

Someone is going to be very upset when she realizes my paycheck didn't go into an account that she can see (she has the app to look at my account on her phone.  No transactions, just balance), and that I am NOT going to give in to her request for $250.00 cash under the table *per week* for child support

 

[hookup]

Best bet is to keep it all above-the-board and document EVERYTHING!

 

[AllenOK]

That's what I'm doing.  She doesn't like it one bit.  C'est la vie!

 

[skeetbum]

Sure enough sucks. Mine is a long story and I'll spare you the details. Best I can say is to keep being yourself with the kids, document everything, and keep your head clear. The fishing therapy has worked for me for a lot of years, I know it'll work for you. Head up brother.

 

[AllenOK]

Thanks for the advice, skeetbum!